


You shouldn't have stayed

by cidax



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Drug Addiction, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-23
Updated: 2018-03-23
Packaged: 2019-04-06 23:20:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14067795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cidax/pseuds/cidax
Summary: Ivan hears voices. He thought that Gilbert was helping him, he was not. Now the Russian feels worse and everything is confusing. It's good that he has Gilbert with him, right?





	You shouldn't have stayed

''Just take one quick hit it will help''  
''No don't take one, it makes you sick''  
''He's already sick can't you see that you fucking idiots!''  
''No he's better this time!''  
''No he isn't and he won't be! He's worthless piece of shit who ruins everything!''  
''In the end of the day he's the reason why he is like this''

 

''Why can't all of you just shut up! '' Ivan screamed. Even if there was no one at the sight, he knew he heard them loud and clear. The voices were back, only this time they were more violent and louder than before. Ivan couldn't understand why they weren't leaving him alone. Gilbert said that they would if he would shove the needle into his arm. He was supposed to get better. Why isn't he feeling better though? Did Gilbert lie? Or was he better? He couldn't understand that himself. ''Please just be quiet.'' he added pleading to voices to just stop this.

''Oooh he lied didn't he? You are sick. So fucking sick'' Ivan heard them all in his head and he couldn't make sense of it. ''I'm not sick, i'm just confused, right? '' Ivan wondered out loud. Apparently that wasn't the case because the louder voices started to holler and laugh at that. Before Ivan could react to that, he heard the front door open. Ivan often wondered what would life be if he could be someone else. It would probably be better because he is nothing. He isn't anyone special and certainly he is not the best person ever. Ivan only wanted the voices to go away and let him breathe. 

''I'm home!'' came Gilbert's voice from the hallway. Ivan swallowed, this was the moment when Gilbert would understand that he's not better, in fact he's worse now. ''Please go away. Please leave. I don't want you in here. Not right now.'' Ivan yelled back, but for nothing. The Prussian had already made his way to the Russian man sitting in the corner. Gilbert pursed his lips for a moment, inspecting the Russian man curiously. ''You look like shit'' was the final conclusion from the albino along with a whistle. Slowly the white haired man pulled the taller one up from the floor and started leading him to the bedroom. ''I got you another gift'' Prussian commented. 

A gift? Why would he give Ivan a gift after everything he's put him through? 

Prussian rummaged through his bag and grinned suddenly. ''Aha! Here it is!'' Ivan stared at the thing in Prussians hands for a moment and then ''Is that more heroin?'' Gilbert grinned wider and nodded enthusiastically. ''Why would you buy h..'' before the Russian could finish his sentence, the shorter man shushed him. ''Trust me this will make the voices go away again, just like in the morning time, remember that liebling?'' 

Of course he remembered that. The voices did go away for a moment and he had been feeling good. But on the other hand when they came back they were malicious and worse than before. Hesitating Ivan nodded at the man slowly, still staring at the needle in Gilbert's hands. The Prussian man grinned and offered it to the taller man. ''Take it.'' But he didn't want to. Ivan shook his head and backed a bit from the other man. Gilbert noticed this and frowned: ''Don't you trust me?'' No he did not, the albino was full of lies and Ivan had learned that. The Prussian man sighed and ran a hand through his hair. ''Well I guess that I'm just going to leave then. Thank you for everything Ivan.''

Wait what. He was leaving, he was leaving Ivan. No that couldn't happen. Ivan quickly took the other mans hand and looked him into the red eyes. Sure, he understood why some people would see the Prussian as the devil. He was pale, had white hair and red eyes. And he certainly acted like one sometimes. Sighing Ivan closed his eyes and whispered: ''I will take it. I want to be better for you.''

 

Russian couldn't remember much after that except the fact that Gilbert had looked like the devil because his grin had gotten so wide. Ivan thought his face would rip apart from the wideness of his smile. He also remembered the Prussian man whispering to him while laying him on the bed. ''You know... You really shouldn't have taken that.. or begged for me to stay...''

''But i guess that is the inevitable after all these years that we have been together. I mean you love me still, even after the mistakes I've made. Still can't understand why you forgive me every single time.. I guess you are just too used to me breaking your heart over and over again Ivan.''

**Author's Note:**

> Again a quick 20min practice story, inspired by Asking Alexandria songs. This is probably pretty bad because I couldn't concentrate but hey whocares right!


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